Monday, May 7, 2007



Pat Boone is FAMILY. Says so right there.

Yo, Mike in Philly, Pat Boone is FAMILY.

How cool is that?

And all this time we thought PB was just a sanctimonious prick.

Now I know today is not New Year's Eve or anything, but I've decided to turn a new leaf and go Politically Correct.

I have.

Take, for example, the following story.

OK, hang on a sec, will ya?

I'm transforming myself.

I am PC.

OK, get this.

Now I'm NOT lying here. You just cannot make this shit up.

OK, here's the deal.

You know what? I'm just gonna let the article speak for itself.

The article is titled "Lay off Mel Gibson, for Christ's sake!"

Well, it is.

OK, here's the enchilada, straight from BP's mouth.

"Many know our grandson Ryan Corbin was grievously injured in a 40-foot fall through the skylight of a West L.A. apartment building roof, when he and a buddy from Pepperdine University had gone up to sun on towels five years ago. He was in a coma for seven months, and the neurosurgeons told us he'd never come out of a vegetative state. They advised us to ask ourselves how long we'd want to maintain him in that state; in other words, when would we want to ''pull the plug?''

Today, after years of prayer and treatment and therapy, Ryan is steadily recovering. Though he's in a wheelchair, he's cognitive, mentally alert and conversational, and he's regaining use of all his limbs and faculties. He himself has prophesied, ''2006 is my walking year!'' And we believe it.

But along the way, this stellar young man, this devoted Christian leader of his peers, a kid who never cursed or was known to use profanity in his conversations, has been afflicted with something all too common to brain injured patients, even minister's widows, elderly moms, and little children – Tourette's-like outbursts and exclamations of profanity! Though we, his family, were warned in advance this would probably happen, we discounted it, because it was so totally unlike our Ryan, the good guy we've always known. Read the rest of the story here, at PB speaks."

Now, the old Hill would say something along these lines.

1. WTF was he doing sunbathing on a SKYLIGHT 40 ft. UP IN THE AIR?

2. WTF was he doing sunning "on towels" with a buddy (yeah, wink, wink) from college? ON A SKYLIGHT 40 ft. UP IN THE AIR?

3. Did the skylight just *cough* spontaneously *double cough* break? Big gust of wind? Too much rocking back & forth? What? WHY DID IT BREAK? And WTF was he doing sunning "on towels" ON A SKYLIGHT 40 ft. UP IN THE AIR?

4. OK, this man WHO NEVER UTTERED A BAD WORD IN HIS LIFE now has Tourette's Syndrome and he spontaneously yells stuff like FUCK and SUCK ME and YO, BITCH?

Well, fuck me running.

Ain't life just a big ole hairy bitch.


© 2007 HillCountryGal

Note: Oh, please. SISTER SLEDGE. That's right. WE ARE FAMILY.