AFTER SOTU

Somehow, this seems appropriate in the light of day after enduring Dubya.The.Vile.Prick's last ever (we hope) SOTU.

59%

blatantly stolen from my friend John Good at Left in Aboite.

Now take this test.

Obviously, I am a meat eater.

Friend or not.

If I'm starving, you will start to look might tasty to my hungry ass.

And you better NOT fucking taste like chicken, either, you hear me?

:)

Hey, guys, we survived SOTU.

WoooooHoooooo!!!

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

THE STATE OF THE UNION IS FUCKED

Yes, dudes & dudettes, once again it's SOTU time.

Only this time, it will be


last ever SOTU.


We're gonna be live blogging the drunken historic occasion and if you choose to join in, we're gonna be getting shitfaced.

We will be downing 1 shot of whatever your fave poison is every time Dubya The Asshole mentions certain words.

To wit:

STIMULATE

FREEDOM

DEMOCRACY

BLOW

Now, no SOTU slurred delivered by Dubya The Asshole is complete without an "Alamo Basement."

For those of you who aren't familiar with it, Welcome to Texas!

"Alamo Basement"

2 parts peach schnapps

1 part Ballerina vodka (or any vodka that comes in a 1/2 gallon plastic easy-pour safety bottle)

A crushed Vicodin*, and a splash of soda.

It's served through a funnel and accompanied by chanting.

* If the person ordering is such an anal stickler for historical accuracy that they say,
"There is no basement in the Alamo!," Substitute two Vicodin.
~courtesy of the marvelous Betty Bowers.~

Bonus.

If, by some miraculous cosmic event, Darth Cheney's latest pacemaker yells, "Fuck this! I'm outta here" during SOTU, we will pause in our festivities (momentarily) while you grab yourself a piece of ass.

Followed promptly by 2 shots of your fave drink, of course.

Are you ready to rumble?

Saddle up, baby.

Let's ride!

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

BTW, you can live stream SOTU HERE.

A SHORT STORY - THE WEE VIKINGS

In


there's a renegade gang of


'ing






'ing


who are climbing into the


compartment of the


and stealing said


and shit.

A




said

"We're


of installing


on the


Uh huh.


:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

THE PET

So Dani (dude) and Tasha (dudette) got all dressed up.

Well, for them it was dressed up.

And they beebopped to the bus stop and when the bus arrived, they got on.

Only to be promptly thrown off the bus.

The reason?

The bus driver barked at 'em: "No dogs allowed."

Tacky, you say?

Discriminatory, you think?

Huh.

Well, let's examine the issue, shall we?

Here they are, as they were dressed on said day.

That's right, baby.

Dani (dude) had a LEASH around Tasha's (dudette) neck.

Uh huh, a leash.

Now here's where Granny damn near got the vapors, m'kay?

"I am a pet, I generally act animal like and I lead a really easy life,"
Tasha said.

"I AM A PET."

A fucking PET.

Tasha's not Dani's equal.

She's not even his gorked out Fundie wife/girlfriend required to walk 2 paces behind him.

Nuh huh.

She's his PET.

Smelling salts. Now!

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

THE SHOOTING

So these 2 dudes in Australia were out hunting

eggs.

That's right, baby. Croc eggs.

One of the dudes, Jason Grant, apparently never saw "Lake Placid" because he was, well, feeling around for the croc eggs in the murky water.

Sure enough, Mama Croc wasn't happy about her eggs getting stolen so she did what any pissed off Mama Croc would do.

She chomped down on Jason's arm.

Jason: "A croc's got hold of my arm. Shoot it!!!"

His bud Zac Fitzgerald did.

BOOM!

Jason: "The croc, you asshole!! The croc!!"

Jason is recovering in a hospital.

Jason and Zac must not be good friends, you know?

After all, really good friends

shoot each other in the face with buckshot all the time.

And the shootee fucking apologizes to the shooter.

Be a standup dude, Jason!

Apologize to Zac......

.....for having your arm in the bullet's path.

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

Blatant Blogwhoring

Ya 'all stop by and say HOW-DEE, ya hear? Just click on the picture.....

Hill has no computer!!

I know we are all going through "Hill withdrawal" here in the Hill Country. But we're not the only ones. Check out who else is very, very sad about the lack of our daily Hill.

This kid from Dawson's Creek had a near meltdown when he logged onto Hill Country this morning.

This little girl was not only sad - but MAD as hell!! She said she ain't eating her peas until Hill is back online.

This woman (man? who the hell knows) can't take one more minute without Hill's videos.

Keith Olbermann is trying to be brave, but says he is so upset he may not be able to do his show this evening.

Even cartoon babies are freaking out!

When Britney Spears heard the news, she said "Now what the hell am I going to do to pass the time while I'm in rehab!?!?!"

This tragic young woman ruined her eye make-up!!

Even this fucker was sad. Wait..........I think those are crocodile tears.

Here's how he really feels. Don't let this asshat be happy geek squad!! Get Hill's computer fixed FAST!!

**Posted by C.J.