THE AQUARIUM

So how many of you like aquariums?

I dig 'em.

Fave, of course, is one of these bad boys.

Yep, nothing quite as beautiful as a salt water aquarium, yes?

Of course, a freshwater aquarium ain't bad, right?

All those community fish living la vida loca...

I love it!

Now.

THIS is my aquarium.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Look, I HATE cleaning an aquarium. Hate it, hate it, hate it!

I have a VERY good reason why I hate it, too.

So my son & his wife, The Beautiful Elena, gave me a magnificent aquarium and filled it with gorgeous freshwater fishies.

And it stayed gorgeous for quite a while, actually.

Then,

it got green.

So The Beautiful Elena came over to my house and said to me, "Now watch how I do this. I'm gonna prime this tube and drain the nasty water out and you can fill it back up with clean water, OK?"

I'm like, "No problemo."

So she grabbed that hose tube thingie, stuck one end in the aquarium and the other in her mouth, sucked in, and then immediately yanked that hose tube thingie outta her mouth and pointed it out the window, where the green water shot out.

Voila! The nasty water was gone.

I was a good girl and refilled the tank with fresh clear water and put the fishies back in there (they had been put in a bucket of water for safekeeping) and once again, I had a beautiful aquarium.

Which lasted until it turned green again.

But this time, I KNEW how to get that nasty ass green water out of there, so I did what The Beautiful Elena had shown me.

I put that hose tube thingie with one end in the aquarium and the other in my mouth.

I sucked.

'Cept I didn't manage to yank the hose tube thingie outta MY mouth as fast as I should.....

OMFG!!!

I got a fucking MOUTHFUL of that green disgusting water in my mouth.

Pftttttttttt!!!

I RAN to the bathroom, frantically brushed my teeth like 8 times, grabbed the bottle of Scope, swished like a MoFo, then said, "Fuck this swishing shit. GULP!"

Hell yes I swallowed some Scope. Wouldn't you?

While I was Scoping, I was eyeballing the bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide, too.

So later I was telling my boy about the incident and he, being the kind, warm, loving son that he is, said,

"I heard you can get flesh-eating bacteria from a dirty aquarium."

Hydrogen Peroxide!

It doesn't taste as bad when you swallow it as you might think.

:)

© 2007 HillCountryGal

Note: Somewhere....