Thursday, December 13, 2007



So today we're doing something I've been looking forward to for a very long time.

Today we begin a 3-part series of Pam posts.

Yes, we are!

I want you to get to know my friend Pam and to enjoy her fine writing.

And while you're reading her posts, remember we need to help her pick a new blog name for her upcoming blog.

So let's get busy, OK?

Ladies & Dudes, I present Pam!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Now.

Dear Aunt Flo:

I think it's time that you find another place to go visit. I am done having babies.

Other people's Aunts come to visit every 28 days and stay for 3-5 days. You seem to come around every 21 days and then stay for 7-10 days. What is up with that? Are you trying to wear out your welcome?

Why must you bring horrible PMS and cramps with you when you come? Don't you get tired of lugging around that 5 extra pounds of water weight that you dump on me each month? And ZITS!! Zits AND wrinkles?!? I mean COME ON!! There ought be a law that says once a woman's first crow's foot appears, zits are no longer allowed on her face. I keep having flashbacks to 9th grade and all that Clearasil.

Why do you always show up at the most inconvenient times? Weddings. Reunions. Vacations. A planned day at the water park. Days when my "fat jeans" are dirty. You have a cruel sense of humor, Aunt Flo. You should find other amusements.

It appears you have an aversion to hormones and thus birth control pills will keep your visits short and predictable. But I have no other need for birth control pills, patches, rings, shots, etc. The co-pays on those things are around $40-60. I can think of a few other things I'd like to do with that money. Plus, a woman in her (late) 30s has a higher risk of blood clots and other nasty side effects when she takes hormones.

Your aversion to pregnant women and nursing babies is also well known. And I do appreciate the years I was nursing and/or pregnant that you mostly stayed away. But I am not going to have another baby just to get rid of you.

Take the hint lady and hit the road. Go visit some female who is praying for your arrival right about now. I am ready for menopause.


:) :) :)


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