Wednesday, December 26, 2007


So let's talk about

etiquette, shall we?

Before we get into that little ditty, lemme just say it's fucking great to be back online!

OK, now the cell phone thingie....

I was in Applebee's the other day just enjoying my lunch and minding my own business.

Lunch was great and after I was finished, I headed to the bathroom. Needed to do the pee thang and wash my hands since they were basically covered in French Fry grease.

So I beebop into the 2-stall bathroom and one was empty. I opened the door, walked in, closed the door, and got ready to pee.

Sat down on the THOROUGHLY WRAPPED toilet seat and, well, started peeing.


In the stall next to me was a very, very chatty woman.

At first I thought she was saying something to me, like, "There's no toilet paper here. Can you pass some under the divider?"

Which I would have, being as I'm a nice person and whatnot.

But no.

That is NOT what she was saying.

She was yapping on her cell phone LOUDLY. Sounded like she was talking to her boss, too.


Yes, she was. Every 3 or 4 words outta her mouth there was a flurry of farts & SHIT SPLASHES in the toilet.

Ain't lying.

Now you KNOW if I could hear that, whoever she was talking to on the phone sure as hell could hear it, too.

Prolly amplified.

Seriously now, WTF is wrong with some peeps?

Rule 1. Don't take a crap while you're talking on the fucking phone. It's rude as hell, not to mention I'll come back here and write about your nasty ass.

Rule 2. Take some Gas-X or something. Goodgawdalmighty!!

"Well, yes, you know, I was getting *SPLASH!* ready to file those briefs and *THUD SPLASH* then the phone rang, and *PTRRRRRRRRRRR* and it was Mrs. Jones on the line so *EXPLOSIVE SPLASH....*"


© 2007 HillCountryGal

Note: Dreams

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