THE MYSTERY

So I had just finished taking my shower and

OK, back up.

Let me set the stage here.

I don't have one of those dresser drawer thingies for clothes. Well, I do, but it's upstairs and it's cold up there in the winter and ass-hot in the summer.

So, in the washer/dryer room, downstairs right next to the bathroom, there's a row of shelves.

And this row of shelves is where the clothes that are being worn that season get put.

To wit:

The Nurse's shelves.

My shelf.

Notice the order of my stuff on my shelf. R to L, bandanna, socks, the 2 bras I own, panties, sweat shirts and pants, jammies, and T-shirts.

So here's the routine.

Just before my shower, I grab a pair of panties and a T-shirt and beebop to the bathroom. I place them on the top of the commode shelf thingie and do the shower thang. I dry off, deodorize the pits, Q tip the ears, and reach for the clean clothes. Panties first, followed by the T.

Simple. Routine. Never varies.

Except

Last night, did the shower, deodorant, Q tip. Put the panties on, reached for the T.

Whoa!

My panties were down around my ankles.

Hmmmmmm

OK, pulled 'em back up over my hips and reached for the T.

Panties flopped to my ankles.

WTF???

Put my glasses on and held the panties up for inspection.

Right style? Uh huh.

Right fabric? Yeah.

Right color? You bet.

Right size? FUCK NO!

They were, oh, I don't know, about 6 or 8 sizes TOO BIG FOR ME!

So I put the T on, got another pair of panties (that fit) and headed to the living room where The Nurse was in his recliner watching something on TV.

I stood between him and the TV and held the HUMONGOUS white cotton bikini panties up in front of me.

The Nurse: "Holy shit! Are you gaining weight?"

Me: "Fuck off. Have you finally decided to explore your feminine side?"

The Nurse: "Nope."

Pause.

The Nurse: "But you can bet your sweet ass if I did those would be lacy & satiny."

BWAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!

So the question is, where the fuck did those big ass panties come from?

Now, theoretically, it's possible The Nurse had an orgy with 3-4 women and one of 'em washed, dried and folded their panties and put 'em in my pile and I just didn't notice. Them or my panties stack.

After all, when I'm in my office writing a post, I am intensely focused on nothing else.

As a matter of fact, Brad Pitt himself could be sitting on my face and I wouldn't notice unless his genitals were blocking my view of my monitor and then I'd just be like, "Yo, Brad, move the boys. Now!"

So the question remains, where the fuck did those big ass panties come from?

You know, you learn a lot about peeps by their underwear.

That's right, baby, you do.

Ever have guests that stay for a few days and you offer to wash their clothes for 'em?

I did.

Brother in law.

Black thongs.

OMFG!!

Black thongs.

BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal

Any movie fans in the house tonight?

This vid is a compilation of movie themes composed by the great Basil Poledouris. See if you can name all the movies here.