Thursday, January 10, 2008

WHY I LOVE THE GOOGLE

1 a.m.

REM out the window, eyelids pop open.

Hmmmmmmmmm.....

I know!

I'm gonna Google "funny street signs."

I like funny street signs. They're funny.

I do and they are.

But I'm doomed.

No, I don't see dead people.

I see blue links.

They MAKE ME click on 'em.

I do.

And eventually, I land in Bizzaroland From Hell.

That's right, baby, my happy ass is reading about phobias. Not just any old everyday run-of-the-mill boring phobias, but the 10 most bizarre phobias ever.

Ergasiophobia - Fear of Work


"Ergasiophobia can be a persistent and debilitating disorder in some people, causing significant psychological disability and dysfunction," according to the article.

I love it!

Next time somebody hollers at me, "Git a job!" you know what I'm gonna say, yes?

"No can do. I have Ergasiophobia."

Fucking fear of work. Now you just KNOW some lazy ass MoFo was laying around one day and his/her partner was yelling and hollering and carrying on about
"Git a job."

The old standby, "Nobody's hiring," got deep six'd when partner held up pages and pages of classifieds.

Shit!

What to do, what to do?!?

Light bulb!

1. Make up a Latin-ish sounding word and attach "phobia" to the end of it.

2. Ergasiophobia. Check!

"No can work. I have Ergasiophobia."

Which is playtime compared to

Ithyphallophobia - Fear of Erections


From the article: "Defined as “a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of an erect penis”, each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress. To add insult to an already distressing condition, most fear of erection therapies take months or years and sometimes even require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to their fear. Known by a number of names - Medorthophobia, Phallophobia, Ithyphallophobia, and Fear of an Erect Penis being the most common - the problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and keep people apart from loved ones and business associates."

Fear of an Erect Penis.

Nope.

Not one of Granny's phobias.

UP!

:)

© 2008 HillCountryGal


Tonight's The Night


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