ALAINA TEMPLETON & THE CAR WASH

#1. ALAINA TEMPLETON

So this nutbar woman up in Winona, Minnesota, is trying to get charges filed against her pet sitting friend cause said friend allowed nutbar's woman's

yes, her potbellied pig, Alaina Templeton, to get fat.

Not lying.

Here's what happened.

Gonna blockquote the article for you. You'll see why in a minute or so.

OK, here it is.

"WINONA, Minn. (AP) - A woman wants abuse charges filed against an acquaintance who was pet-sitting for her potbellied pig and allowed the animal to get fat.

Michelle Schmitz said her pig, Alaina Templeton, weighed 50 pounds when Schmitz left her with a co-worker who offered to care for the animal in February, when Schmitz went on medical leave to recover from ankle surgeries.

Nine months later, the pig weighed 150 pounds and it took veterinarians 4 1/2 hours to surgically remove the animal's collar, the Winona Daily News reported. Officers are investigating whether Alaina was abused by the sitter's neglect and overfeeding.

Investigator Jeff Mueller of the Winona County Sheriff's Department said Tuesday that no charges had been filed against the pig sitter, whose name was not released.

Schmitz, 22, said she bottle-fed Alaina when she was just 11 days old and kept her on a strict diet to keep her weight at about 50 pounds.

When she tried to recover the pig in April, Schmitz said the co-worker wouldn't return her calls. She said that she didn't know where the woman lived and that when she finally found the woman's farm Saturday, she discovered that Alaina's neck had grown around her collar and that the pig had trouble breathing.

The pig now wears bandages and is healing from a pressure wound and neck infection.

Schmitz said she cried for three days after she discovered her pet's weight problem.

"That pig is my life," said Schmitz, who has a tattoo of Alaina's name."

Now, after you've read the entire word-for-word article, tell me something, will ya?

What is the single most disturbing thing in the ENTIRE article?

The fact that Alaina Templeton The Pig was bottle fed and kept at 50 lbs?

Nope.

The fact that Alaina Templeton The Pig's owner ditched her on a friend for gawdknows how long AFTER ankle surgery?

Negative.

The fact that Alaina Templeton The Pig's sitter allowed her to get so fat the vets had to cut the collar off?

Nah.

The fact that Alaina Templeton The Pig's owner wants cruelty charges filed against Alaina Templeton The Pig's pet sitter cause Alaina Templeton The Pig did what PIGS DO, which is EAT, aside from getting occasional pig nookie?

No.

Look at the very last paragraph, the last 6 words.

"That pig is my life," said Schmitz, who has a tattoo of Alaina's name. "

Why, Yes.

Alaina Templeton The Pig's owner has a fucking tattoo of Alaina Templeton The Pig's name.

A FUCKING TATTOO of a potbellied pig's name.

DearGawdInHeaven, WTF is wrong with some people???

ROTFLMAO!!

OK, #2. THE CAR WASH

So this chick in Florida is suing her

to the tune of $600,000 because of an accident, sort of, while she was having a tooth extracted.

Apparently her dentist had ZERO musical taste, although that's not why she's suing him.

On the other hand, it did lead directly to the *cough* "accident."

OK, here's what happened.

"Brandy Fanning said the dentist was dancing to the song "Car Wash" when the drill bit he was using got stuck in her sinus cavity. She said he was performing rhythmic steps to the song while doing an extraction."

To the tune of "Car Wash?"

BWAAAAAAA HAHAHHHHHHAAAA HAHAHAHAHAAA

DearGawdInHeaven, WTF is wrong with some people???

:)

© 2007 HillCountryGal

Note: Duh