Saturday, November 24, 2007


So this freak dude up in Winnepeg, "Eh, 'Sup," got drunk and horny.

Now, from time to time, we've all been there, done that...

Well, OK, not THAT ^^^^^^

but he did.

Uh huh.

He sure as hell did.

So here's what happened.

Horny Drunk Dude broke into Garage A. Within minutes, he broke into Garage B (A's neighbor) where he stole a lawn mower, a mountain bike, a blanket and a stuffed toy dog. He then returned to Garage A, where the police found him 2 hours later passed out inside a boat. That's right, a boat.

If ONLY Horny Drunk Dude would have left it at burglarizing shit...

But, nooooooo, he just HAD to get his groove on.

"He was lying there with his genitalia exposed next to the stuffed dog," said Crown attorney John Peden. "While the police report doesn't describe it this way, the dog might be appropriately characterized as now being anatomically correct, as opposed to its condition before he removed it."

That's right, baby, he bored a hole in the stuffed dog. The story didn't specify WITH WHAT, but I'm betting his richard had fuzz on it.

In his defense, it WAS plush.

The saga continues.

Judge Charles Newcombe, who apparently was NOT amused, said the "unusual circumstances" of the incident justified an order that the man provide police with a DNA sample.

So let me get this straight.

They swabbed the stuffed dog's NOW anatomically-correct box for DNA.

Why, yes, they did.


Now, in my attempt to NOT judge, I'm gonna make amends.

That's right, I am.

So, for all you fucking pervs "PLUSH" lovers, here is my gift to you.

Ah, yes, for those of you who want your hoo-hoo to smell divine while boinking, here is Hot Hugs Lion

the aromatherapy fuck. NOT LYING HERE...

And certainly we must not forget the ever-popular and enduring fundie fuck.



© 2007 HillCountryGal

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