THE ASS STICKERS

Surely you didn't think I was gonna write a sappy, cumbaya-type let's be thankful for what we have post for Turkey Day.

Did you?

Hell, no. You know me way better than that by now.

So here's the deal.

This post is about Ass Stickers.

No, not this kind.

This kind.

That's right. These bitches from hell right here.

Now you city folk may not know what a sticker is.

Let me tell ya. See those little pointed needle-looking spikes there?

Well, picture those puppies stuck in your skin. Your feet, your hands, your legs, your arms. Stickers are EVERYWHERE out in the country. You take a step OFF the manicured grass, you WILL BE walking in a sticker patch.

Now try to imagine said stickers stuck in your ass.

OK, here's what happened.

You men have this MARVELOUS thing called BOXERS you get to wear. We women have panties we wear.

So the other day right after my shower, I was reaching for my cotton bikini panties to put on when I glanced over to where Hubby has his clean boxers.

And I thought, hmmmmmm.

Now why couldn't I just, you know, BORROW a pair for the day?

No reason that I could see, so I did.

OMFG!!!

The freedom is phenom! Nevermind that they BARELY hung on to my little ass, but that's not the point.

Here's the point.

So I'm like WoooooooHooooooo!!'ng around totally digging NOT having cotton bikini panties on and after running around outside for a bit (I don't have neighbors, so don't think I was out flashing anybody). After a bit, I came back inside and walked over to my desk, sat down and clicked on this page.

Yada, yada.

A few minutes later....

WHAT THE FUCK IS STICKING ME IN MY ASS CRACK?!?!???

So these BORROWED boxers are loose enough that I could just reach under and pull 'em to the side and look, you know?

So I did. And guess what I found right there in the BOXER ASS CRACK SEAM?

Why, yes, a fucking STICKER!

So I'm threading it outta the ass crack seam (pricked my finger, too) and finally worked that bitch out and tossed it in my ashtray on my desk.

And I settled back in for some quality time on the computer.

WHAT THE FUCK IS STICKING ME IN MY ASS CRACK?!?!??? AGAIN?!?!?

Repeated the pull to the side, yada yada thing, and sure enough, ANOTHER fucking sticker in the ass crack seam.

At this point, I'm like, Oh.HELL.No.

Yanked those things off, put on MY proper underwear, and Googled Big Dog.

YES!!!

Women's BOXERS!!

Pink, too!

I dig pink.


Yes, those are my PINK Timberland HIKERS.

So the question remains.

How in the HELL did those stickers get in the ass crack seam of the boxers?

You know what?

I don't want to know.

Some things are just best left in the realm of The Great Unknown.

Oh, and btw

Happy Turkey Day!

:)

© 2007 HillCountryGal

Note: THE best slow-dancing song EVER!! Am I right or am I right? :)